Sensitive Charlotte Problems

Louder than sirens, louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell

blacksupervillain:

imagine if mike brown’s family had considered deleting their son’s social media before the media got to it

that would turn heads

"what are they trying to hide?"

"a teenager with no internet profile? seems fishy"

"did he keep a low profile because he was in a gang?"

but no one thinks its weird that darren wilson’s internet EVERYTHING seems to have magically vanished

(via logic-and-art)

Anonymous said: What happens after a hysterectomy? Like, what's at the end of your vagina? Is there still a cervix? Does penetrative sex feel like 'normal' sex for both parties? What is the scarring like? Will it be obvious to sexual partners that I don't have the full set of equipment? How much pain can I expect afterwards? Will my vagina stay... normal? It looks likely that I'll need a hysterectomy and I'm scared because I have so many stupid questions that I just feel embarrassed to ask my doctors.

themidwifeisin:

There are different types of hysterectomy.  

  1. Radical: Uterus, ovaries, and cervix removed
  2. Total: Uterus and ovaries removed, cervix still in place
  3. Partial: Uterus removed, ovaries and cervix remaining
    image

There are a few different ways that hysterectomies are done:

  • Abdominal hysterectomy:  A cut is made through the lower abdomen and the uterus is removed through that cut
  • Vaginal hysterectomy: The uterus is removed through the vagina
  • Laparoscopic hysterectomy: 3-4 small incisions are made on the abdomen and a camera is inserted through one while tools are inserted through the others to cut the uterus up and remove it in small pieces

Why do people have hysterectomies?

  • Cancer of the ovaries, cervix, uterus, endometrium
  • Fibroids
  • Endometriosis
  • Prolapse of the uterus (not a good reason)
  • Adenomyosis
  • Chronic pelvic pain
  • Abnormal vaginal bleeding

How long does it take to recover from a hysterectomy?

  • Abdominal: 4-6 weeks
  • Vaginal/laparoscopic: 3-4 weeks
  • For either one, it will be 6 weeks before you can have sex or take a bath
  • Additionally, a lot of people say that they don’t really feel 100% for at least 6 months after the surgery.  It takes a while for you to get used to all the ways your body has changed.  This is common with major abdominal surgeries, cesarean section as well.
  • On the other hand, many people feel better as soon as 2 weeks after the surgery.  It’s different for everyone.

So what about sex?

  • If your ovaries have been removed, you can expect a change in your sexual function.  Ovaries are what make both estrogen and progesterone, two hormones that are vital to sexual desire and function.  There are replacement hormones you can take, but expect them to still feel different than how you felt before, since the replacement hormones are chemically different.  Additionally, the removal of estrogen can cause increased vaginal dryness and thin the vaginal walls, leaving them susceptible to tearing and painful sex.  If you are going to have your ovaries removed, talk to your provider about replacement hormones ahead of time.
  • If your cervix has not been removed, there shouldn’t be any noticeable difference to your partner during sex.  If it has been removed, you can expect your partner to know that there is a difference, but it won’t feel bad or like a major inconvenience to them.  It won’t stop you from having any of the types of sex you used to have.  
  • In fact, there is a lot of new research saying that people have better sex after they have a hysterectomy.  All those symptoms that are causing you to have the hysterectomy in the first place?  The irregular spotting, bleeding, pelvic pain, cramping, bloating, GI discomforts, they’ll all be gone.  Plus, you don’t have to worry about pregnancy.
  • Orgasm?  They surgeons won’t even go near your clitoris or your g-spot, so no worries on that front.  They’ll stay perfectly intact.

As far as pain goes - that is something you’ll have to talk to your doctor about.  It’s different for everyone (duh) but also different depending on the type of medications they use, the type of hysterectomy they’ll do, and how they manage those sorts of things.

But also, ask your doctors!  I totally get wanting to talk to someone you trust and who you don’t have to look at face-to-face when asking these questions, but it is really important to know what your doctors think about these things too.  You can get information that is tailored to YOU and YOUR body when you talk to them.  I promise that they talk about sex ALL THE TIME.  They won’t be embarrassed or put off if you ask any of these questions.  They’re really reasonable questions.  

Write down a list of all your questions and bring it with to your next visit.  Awkwardness aside, just read them out, one by one, and ask follow up questions you feel like you understand the answers.  If they’re about to cut one of your organs out of your body, you deserve to know all about the procedure and the ways it’ll affect your life in the future.  Below are some suggested questions to ask:

  • What kind of hysterectomy are you doing for me?
  • What will you be removing and how?
  • Will I need to take medications for the rest of my life after this procedure?
  • How long will it take me to heal?
  • Are there other treatment options for my condition?  Are there risks to those options?
  • What are the risks to this surgery?
  • And then also ask all the questions you listed above.

Remember, they are providing you with a service.  You can ask whatever questions you like.  If they don’t have enough time at that visit, make another appointment to talk more before the surgery.

Hysterectomy Fact Sheet
What to expect
Sex after Hysterectomy
Questions about hysterectomies

"

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

"

David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

This never gets old. 

(via denasynesthesia)

(Source: violetmaps, via disgustinghuman)

"

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

"

David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

This never gets old. 

(via denasynesthesia)

(Source: violetmaps, via comfytaire)

"Most writers were the kids who easily, almost automatically, got A’s in English class. (There are exceptions, but they often also seem to be exceptions to the general writerly habit of putting off writing as long as possible.) At an early age, when grammar school teachers were struggling to inculcate the lesson that effort was the main key to success in school, these future scribblers gave the obvious lie to this assertion. Where others read haltingly, they were plowing two grades ahead in the reading workbooks. These are the kids who turned in a completed YA novel for their fifth-grade project. It isn’t that they never failed, but at a very early age, they didn’t have to fail much; their natural talents kept them at the head of the class.

This teaches a very bad, very false lesson: that success in work mostly depends on natural talent. Unfortunately, when you are a professional writer, you are competing with all the other kids who were at the top of their English classes. Your stuff may not—indeed, probably won’t—be the best anymore.

If you’ve spent most of your life cruising ahead on natural ability, doing what came easily and quickly, every word you write becomes a test of just how much ability you have, every article a referendum on how good a writer you are. As long as you have not written that article, that speech, that novel, it could still be good. Before you take to the keys, you are Proust and Oscar Wilde and George Orwell all rolled up into one delicious package. By the time you’re finished, you’re more like one of those 1940’s pulp hacks who strung hundred-page paragraphs together with semicolons because it was too much effort to figure out where the sentence should end."

Why Writers Are the Worst Procrastinators - Megan McArdle - The Atlantic

The Why Writing Is So Hard field of psychology is very interesting to me.

(via amyelizabeth)

gpoy. fuck “natural talent” in its eyeball. 

(via ilikelookingatnakedmen)

I had natural talent. And I am the worst procrastinator. Fortunately, there are Deadlines.

(via ellenkushner)

I think I’d read this before, but this part just grabbed me:

“The kids who race ahead in the readers without much supervision get praised for being smart,” says Dweck. “What are they learning? They’re learning that being smart is not about overcoming tough challenges. It’s about finding work easy. When they get to college or graduate school and it starts being hard, they don’t necessarily know how to deal with that.”

That was me, through and through, and I’m not even a millenial.

(via roane72)

“The kids who race ahead in the readers without much supervision get praised for being smart,” says Dweck. “What are they learning? They’re learning that being smart is not about overcoming tough challenges. It’s about finding work easy.”

::sighs in recognition::

Talent is not enough. You have to put in the work, too.

(via gothiccharmschool)

ALL OF THIS TRUE, AND NOT JUST APPLICABLE TO WRITING FOR A LIVING. Though of course, I do write for a living, if not fiction. Well, not officially.

(via monanotlisa)

(Source: brutereason, via conditionalclause)

ethiopienne:

on today’s episode of me having feelings, a series of tweets about “anti-rape nail polish.”

thetowerofpimps:

2009 me would think that 2014 me was hot and thats all that matters

(via knivesandglitter)

batcii:

sketchin R in class w@ever w@eva
b-luesheep:

ivvlo:

grrl-riott:

fernjpg:

wearethefourthwave:

"THIS PICTURE WILL NOT CHANGE THE WORLD, BUT I STILL NEED FEMINISM AND I’M GOING TO REALLY, REALLY TELL YOU WHY":
-Because I got called a whore for wearing a short plaid skirt when I was 10
-and because when Nujood Ali from Yemen was 10 she got divorced
-Because black girls’ names became my classmates’ favorite “joke” when I was 11
-and because when an 11-year-old girl in Texas was raped by 18 men the New York Times wrote of how the girl “dressed older than her age”
-Because I started counting calories when I was 14
-and because when Malala Yousafzai was 14 she was shot in the head for trying to go to school
-Because I heard a boy greet a girl with “hey slut” today at age 16 -and because when a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio was filmed being raped by two boys at a party while unconscious the CNN reporters talked about how tragic it was because the rapists had such bright futures as athletes
-Because I will have to watch my drink at all bars and parties when I am 22
-and because when CeCe McDonald was 22 she was sentenced to 41 months in prison for defending herself against a man who screamed transphobic, racist insults at her and then slashed her face with a bottle
-Because no matter what age I am the biggest threat to men will still be heart disease, and the biggest threat to women will still be men.
-Because it is not just about me, because it is not just about anger, because it is not just a JOKE, because it is not just about “hating men,” because it is not just about girls with vaginas, because it is not just about ending “slut”, because it is not just about white straight girls in Rookie magazine, because it is not just about writing on backs, because it is not just about the fact that gay men are “fags” but lesbians are “hot,” because it is not just about pictures of thin white girls being the only google image results for the search phrase “beautiful women”, because it is not just about writing signs, because it is not just about what she was wearing or how many times she said yes before she changed her answer to no, because misogyny is not just about one thing and feminism is not just about one thing and it is not just “a trend” and it will not “happen” in just one way.
-And because yes. It is about equality for EVERYONE, but first and foremost it needs to be about equality for girls, because they are not treated equally to men, in every single sense, and you are not going to take feminism away from me and call me bossy/hostile/aggressive and make this about yourself or make it into a joke, because truth be told, I’m not joking and I’m tired of explaining. If you want to call yourself a feminist, you work hard to spread feminism, you do not turn this into a contest of whose struggle is greater and constantly demand to know what you can get out of feminism personally. Feminism is not just about you, or me, it is about everyone. If you’re male and you’re tired of men being stereotyped as hyper-masculine, soulless, sexist, inherent leader-tyrant creatures, then go out and prove the patriarchy wrong and fight for girls, like someone with a soul who believes in equality would. Then, yes, feminism will be about everyone.
-Sylvie (an amazing grrrl godess) Photo taken by Caroline http://c-h-0-w.tumblr.com/

i feel the strong urge to print this out and hand out copies to everyone i meet to spread the word on feminism and rape culture bc i couldnt word it this well without becoming overly angry and giving up

This is v important

Everyone should read this

I love this and the person(s) who created this

justice4mikebrown:

Day 19: Darren Wilson still has not been arrested for the murder of Mike Brown.

(via gothkanyewest)